Rape Culture is real

If you have been following the news and or various social media platforms, I’m pretty sure you have encountered the Stanford Rapist. To those who haven’t heard of the Stanford Rapist case, I’ll quickly break it down for you.

The Stanford Rapist goes by the name Brock Turner, a freshman at Stanford University, who raped an unconscious woman behind a dumpster. Luckily, he got caught. The terrifying thing is though, that he only got a mere sentence of six months and about three years on probation. This has caused an uproar. And it shows how despicable and disgusting rape culture is with all of its factors. The father of Brock Turner wrote a letter to the judge, dismissing his son’s severe crime and just calling it ’20 minutes of action’.

As I read the letter the father had written, my insides coiled and I was not only feeling incredibly sick but also fuming.  Not only had the father tried to depict his son as the ‘true victim’ of so-called ‘drinking culture’ but also made a jab at girls who drink and like to party.

Not only did the Father of the rapist, have the nerve in writing an insensitive, downright sexist and gut clenching letter, but Leslie Rasmussen a friend of the rapist also thought it would be great to vocalize her opinion.

 

 

“I don’t think it’s fair to base the fate of the next ten + years of his life on the decision of a girl who doesn’t remember anything but the amount she drank to press charges against him. I am not blaming her directly for this, because that isn’t right. But where do we draw the line and stop worrying about being politically correct every second of the day and see that rape on campuses isn’t always because people are rapists.

This is completely different from a woman getting kidnapped and raped as she is walking to her car in a parking lot. That is a rapist. These are not rapists. These are idiot boys and girls having too much to drink and not being aware of their surroundings and having clouded judgement.”

Just.let.that.sink.in

I am bewildered at the stupidity of these people. Rape is rape. No matter if the victim was unconscious, conscious, kidnapped or not. The trauma will always be there and it will follow the victim everywhere they go, as long as they live. I do not believe that alcohol makes people turn into rapists. I believe that deep down, they had that mindset from the beginning. The mindset that they could just ‘take what they want’. That they are entitled to do as they please and no one can tell them ‘no’.  Brock Turner is not the victim, he is a rapist and fully deserves six years in prison. Nothing less.

The whole case is reeking of rape culture. Personally, I’ve encountered rape culture first hand. Just like most women have. It begins at worrying if anything will happen to you when you decide to walk home rather than take a taxi. It begins when we start worrying if the dress is too much, too short, too revealing- if it could attract unwanted attention. Feeling nervous while walking down the street and being catcalled by utter strangers. Plus what could happen if you tell them to shut the fuck up? They could turn out to be way more trouble than before. So we keep quiet.

Rape culture is when people say I shouldn’t lead men on, that my no is irrelevant and I shouldn’t be surprised if I get raped when I deny a man sex. Especially, if I’ve let him come home with me, especially if I am with him in bed and decide I do not want to have sex with him.

Rape culture is when I am too afraid and lie to myself, that what he did to me in his angry fit, is okay. That he didn’t mean it. That it was my fault and I am guilty. The fact that he ignored my pain and me saying it hurts, speaks for itself. It was not with my consent. It takes courage to speak about it, it takes a lot of courage and strength to be honest. So why should women lie about rape?

No more questions about what the victim was wearing, drinking or if she/he has a promiscuous lifestyle.

End Rape Culture. Teach boys not to rape! Teach them to respect women. No means no. We are all equal, nobody deserves, nobody asked for rape.

 

 

 

Top 5 things, which annoy me.

I’m officially in rant mode, so ya’ll just have to suck it up, rejoice with me or step back and leave as quickly as possible. I rant a lot. And often. I tend to pick out my favorite individuals and just send them endless text messages about why I am annoyed or why I feel like I am going to explode on the inside. If you can recognize yourself within these posts: congrats-you belong to the people that annoy the living fuck out of me. No harsh feelings, but we’re probably not besties anyway. Or friends at all. Maybe mere acqaintances.

IF YOU ARE NICE TO ME-I’ll be nice to you and I really do not care what you wear or how you look like. These are just things that annoy me personally when it comes to humans which have treated me unkindly or brushed me off. Aka we don’t get along in the first place or we’ve simply haven’t had the best experiences together. Some peeps have gotten the wrong idea of me and this post-it should be witty, comical and not hateful or judgemental.  It’s as simple as that.

1. Bad eyebrows/thin eyebrows/smeared eyebrows

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For real. It’s one of my pet peeves. I know it’s super unimportant and shouldn’t be a factor but if I talk to someone, I automatically look at their eyebrows too! You could have the most wonderful and prettiest face in the  world, but if you have shitty eyebrows I just cringe. It ruins so much. People who know me, will absolutely sense my disliking towards a woman if I say ” her eyebrows though.”. If I comment in that area, you have basically lost. We’ve all made mistakes in that area, I’ve had them waaaay to thin, but to go and get your brows done by a professional ( or a friend who knows what they are doing), can step up your game! ( I do not care if one of my friends have bushy eyebrows, untamed whatevs. If you’re my friend, we good. And if you ask me to do your brows/hair I’m in. This pet peeve is for people I cannot stand from the beginning. The eyebrows just tip me over)

2. The group of girlfriends that all wear the same red lipstick but it doesn’t suit them at all

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I know that not everyone is as enthusiastic when it comes to makeup and lipsticks as I am, and it’s perfectly fine. However, as I think it’s important to know what suits you and what doesn’t, I tend to be very harsh towards this topic. What gets to me, is the attitude: ‘ oh, we’re having a girls night out, i need to wear red lipstick, because it’s a special event and i have no idea, if this looks good or not so-i’ll-just-fucking-smear-it-across-my-entire-face.’. Plus the whole group seems like they’ve used the same shade,same lipstick. Don’t get me wrong-red lipstick can look classy and feminine. Not so much, if the shade is a more orange tone, when you have a warm skin color. Or you simply chose the lipstick, disregarding if it’s up your ally when it comes down to the outfit or your style. I personally adore cool reds that tend to be more of a subtle purple or a deep burgundy red.

GURLS! THERE IS MORE THAN ONE FLIPPING RED SHADE YOU CAN BUY. A SHADE WHICH IS NOT A HORRENDOUS DUPE OF MAC RUBY WOO!

If you really want to wear a red lipstick please please please make sure it compliments your skin color and you apply it accurately and with precision. Otherwise you look like a hot mess.. Don’t be afraid to invest in quality lipstick or to get some advice. It took me quite a while to find my colors and to perfect everything else.

3. the group of girls that look like clones.

It’s like they’ve mashed themselves together and you can’t tell who’s who. I was at a party with a dear friend of mine and there were a bunch of girls we didn’t know. And I couldn’t tell them a part either. They all had long brown or blonde hair, the blondes wore white knitted boho crop tops and light blue jeans with ankle boots. The brunettes wore ( i shit you not) the same but in a dark blue/black version. And I’m talking about an enourmous group that consisted of 15+ young women. I was literally, the only one with piercings, grey hair and wearing a cap. I sure noticed the weary side looks and snitchy remarks. I couldn’t care less what you wear, as long as you are a decent human being. But being nasty to  anybody who appears different is lame. And 9/10 it’s the group of girls who look all the same, which give you the eye.

With this I just want to make the statement, that I personally made negative experiences in groups that tend to be very homogenous. No matter what scene or lifestyle you come from. Wear what you want, and what makes you happy.

4. People who are mean, because they are insecure.

This one is a biggie. We all have our history and weight to carry around, but that is no excuse to behave like a total arse. I’m pretty shy when it comes to new groups, new people and many assume I’m arrogantwhen I don’t talk as much. Plus when I go out, I go out. Which means-perfect makeup face.Simply due to the fact that I feel the most comfortable when I know I’m absolutely slaying. It gives me confidence. I am well aware, that I have the syndrome called ‘resting bitch face’ but please talk to me and you’ll see that I’m just a total geek. However, I’ve noticed in particular circles ( where I’ll prob never show up again) that I probably intimadated a specific person. This human didn’t like me having the unwavering attention of my then boyfriend and pretty much tried to exclude me from the group.The only conversation we had was about my purple hair (No I don’t dye them I have naturally purple hair)  or ‘ Do you overline your lips?’. She obviously had the hots for my ex and you know what, suck it the fuck up but don’t go around making others feel bad.

These people want to make you uncomfortable in the new clique and are just afraid that you will take their place. How about some selflove and respect towards other humans? That would be something

I also had to learn the hard way to accept myself and to love myself, but please give it a try and you won’t feel insecure about anyone that is new in your cirlce. Maybe you can even make new friends? Don’t shut anyone out!

5. People who judge in general.

People who judge others are narrow sighted, tiny humans who are probably extremely bored. If you have the time to gossip and to be all high and mighty-guess what? You need a productive hobby. There are so many things going on in the world that are more important than flipping Christine, who got laid by someone on the weekend. First off, it’s none of your business what Christine does in her free time. Secondly- Good for Christine that she got laid. Or who cares that Anne is in a new relationship after being single for bout 1 month? Who knows how bad or good her past relationship was and to be blunt- if she feels better that way-go for it, gurl. Don’t judge as it should be none of your concern because ‘surprise’ it doesn’t affect you.  Badmouthing and gossiping is just pure poison and can lead to unnecessary drama, which can end up reeeeeeeaaaal bad.  And then you are the person standing there alone, engulfed in negative karma.

That was a rather short but efficient list of what really bugs me. Of course sexist, racist and homo/transphobic people make my blood boil. My interactions with sexists are too long to be able to squeeze into this post. Thats a post for later. What are the things that annoy you? Feel free to comment!

Hope you all have a grand day 🙂

Chin up and sail strong

Charlie xoxo